Talking Clock

Proudly showing off his newly leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night the drunk yuppie led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friend's asked.

"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock" the drunk replied.

"A talking clock? Seriouiouously?" (burping)

"Yup."

"Hmmm (hic)."

"How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.

"Watch" the yuppie said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment in silence.

Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed "For Fuck's sake you fucking wanker, it's ten past three in the fucking morning."